That time I birthed our daughter on our living room floor.
PRE-FACE
The desire to be a mother started as soon as I understood the concept of XXX . I practiced mothering my little brother and all the younger kids around me; reading them stories, carrying them around, kissing their cuts and scrapes. For career dress-up days, I’d bring my dolls to school, standing on stage at assembly and proudly announcing that “when I grow up, I want to be a mum.” From the moment I could imagine a future, it always held a child in my arms.
Around the time I finished high school, I began to develop a deep fascination with birth. While my friends were watching beauty vloggers on YouTube, I was watching people’s birth stories. I filled my mind with all kinds of births from all over the world - different cultures, different environments, different generations. There was something magnetic about the unfiltered, ancient method of women bringing life into the world. As I got closer to truly being ready to have kids of my own, I dove deeper into the birth options available in WA. So when I fell pregnant, I felt informed enough to choose a home birth with a private midwife, with a strong stance on zero intervention (and we defined intervention as everything from multiple scans and checks to finding out the gender and even just being in a hospital/clinical environment). Being quite private people, we knew we wanted it to be just us, our midwife, and her backup in the space. More on that in another blog.
My pregnancy was healthy and relaxed, filled with movement, rest, good food, and quality time with my man. He was on an extended long service leave, so he was off work completely for my final months of pregnancy. Baby was engaged halfway through the third trimester and sitting low - I felt huge and experienced sharp round ligament pain whenever I stood up too quickly. Our midwife had had a few early births this spring season so we were fully prepared for an arrival from 36 weeks onward.
In terms of birth prep, we didn’t anything special. I was eating dates and drinking teas all the way through pregnancy, but even before conception too. It kind of felt like the entire pregnancy was the preparation - was in the energetics of the decisions we made, the boundaries we set, and the way we gently closed ourselves off from outside opinions and turned inward. I spent hours reading and listening to birth stories, going to monthly home birth catch-ups, and honestly just spending a lot of time by myself, getting to know my baby and the new body I was in . The “prep” I did felt more like mental conditioning - reminding myself that birth is a physiological, natural experience. Not something to be feared or managed, but something to be trusted.
When the day came, it unfolded quietly. Pretty much like any other day. We stayed relaxed, chatting and laughing between all the moments, not making a big spectacle of it - it felt so casual and natural. It was exactly how we needed to bring our daughter into the world.
FINAL DAYS JUST US TWO
As October began, I hit 37 weeks. Although I felt mild, crampy sensations, I still hadn’t experienced any of the Braxton Hicks contractions so many women had spoken to me about. My tailbone and hips ached from the extra weight whenever I was still for too long, so although I’d wrapped up all my studio classes, I continued to go for walks and do small outdoor workouts when my energy allowed.
I had spent most of the third trimester thinking about the birth experience, visualising many times that I would labour through the day, not overnight. Luke and I even joked about it, saying ideally baby would be born before 8pm so we could go to bed on time. Even in something as unpredictable as birth, we imagined it gently flowing into the rhythm of our days.
Each day before leaving the house, Luke would ask if I wanted him to stay home. He kept his phone on loud and called every few hours to check in; knowing I’d probably downplay it and not ask him to come home until I was absolutely sure. By this point I think I was starting to lose my mucus plug. When I went to the bathroom, things felt different.
In the week leading up, I became quite tired in the afternoons - yawning and struggling to keep my eyes open. It was a sleepy, blissful kind of exhaustion. We were often asleep not long after sunset, sometimes even getting into bed while it was still light. I would sleep in most days, do one productive thing in the morning, then spend afternoons on the couch cuddling my man, watching movies, going for short walks around the block, and eating nourishing slow-cooked food. Life had already begun to slow into the rhythm we would soon meet on the other side.
I’d been told throughout pregnancy to soak up as much rest as possible, that I’d never have this kind of stillness again. It wasn’t until the final weeks that I truly leaned into it. Work was paused, classes were finished, there was nothing to “do.” Maybe it was the heat, the extra weight, or simply me holding onto the final days of this version of myself but I really let myself rest deeply. It was as if my body knew this chapter was closing and was urging me to enjoy it and say a proper goodbye before everything changed.
EARLY LABOUR
On the 15th of October, we woke slowly with the sun. I got up to go to the toilet, and when I came back, a strong cramp made me curl up on the bed. As he did every day, Luke asked if I wanted him to stay home. I said I wasn’t sure and we’d play it by ear. I didn’t want him to stay home for no reason.
We lay in bed a little longer, just enjoying the slowness of those mornings before baby arrived.
I felt the urge to go to the toilet again, and this time a large piece of my mucus plug came away. As I stood up, water began to trickle down my legs. I came back to bed and told Luke my waters had broken. He said he would stay home.
We got out of bed, and the cramps continued. Still mild, coming and going. I had a warm shower and wrapped myself in a big fluffy bathrobe. Luke went to the shops to fill the fridge with snacks and supplies for the next few days; we were preparing for a marathon.
As soon as he left, things shifted. The cramps intensified, and I allowed myself to acknowledge that they were probably contractions. I had spent a lot of time understanding the difference between physiological and pathological pain, so everything I felt seemed so purposeful. I listened. I followed.
There was nothing to really resist or brace against, it all felt like sensations to move with. I felt called to lean into the intensity rather than away from it (and in hindsight, that’s probably what allowed everything to move so quickly).
It reminded me of finding your edge in a deep yoga stretch when you want to come out, but if you stay, just a little longer, it expands into an extra edge which feels almost blissful.
I spent those first few hours leaning over our dining chairs and table, using them to support myself. When I needed a break, I sat on the birthing ball, rolling my hips in circles or moving through seated cat-cows, which helped create space. I kept needing to go to the toilet. My body was clearing itself, preparing.
When Luke returned from the shops, my belly had already dropped significantly. Baby was sitting so low that from my belly button up, I barely looked pregnant.
In the weeks leading up, we had talked about how we wanted to set up our birth space. I had visualised a daytime labour, light pouring through the living room curtains, birthing in the pool as the sun set.
I continued moving through contractions - over the table, on the ball, in the birth sling, and eventually on all fours. Luke moved quietly around me, setting up the space, bringing me water, reminding me to stay hydrated. By then, he had already messaged Jess (our midwife) to let her know things had begun.
My waters continued to trickle down my legs all morning, soaking through the thick pink bathrobe I was wearing. At first, the bathrobe had felt comforting like a cocoon I could pull up around my face and lose myself in contractions. But after a while the smell of my own sweat, the heaviness of the wet fabric, and the dull ache in my belly started pulling me out of my body and back into my head.
I told Luke I wanted to get in the shower. He set it up, lining the floor with mats and towels, setting the temperature of the water. As soon as I stepped in, my whole body softened.
It wasn’t pain I had been feeling before, it was more like the lingering tension after an uphill hike, muscles still switched on. Or that subtle alertness after you say something controversial, bracing for a reaction until someone smiles and your whole body exhales.
At one point, Luke came in holding a parcel that had been delivered. It was from a close friend that lives down south. He asked if I wanted him to open it.
As I moved through contractions in the shower, Luke sat on the bathroom floor unwrapping a box of new mother treats, reading me a beautiful card wishing us strength and calm as we prepared to meet our baby. It was exactly what I needed to let go of the outside world and completely surrender to the process of labour.
I stayed in the shower for about half an hour. I began to feel a little dopey, like I’d been lying in the sun too long. My muscles had softened even further, my breathing was slow and steady and I couldn’t stop yawning. It was almost a dreamy, altered state - like being slightly elsewhere (similar to the transitional state of sitting with mushrooms). Mindful that labour could go on for a few days, I asked Luke to help me out so I could lie down and rest for a bit.
GOING THROUGH TRANSITION
I lay down on the couch, curled up on one side with a cushion between my knees and a blanket over me. Almost instantly the contractions became strong - completely different to what I had been feeling. Up until now they’d been gentle tightenings in my lower belly and hips, a dull aching that felt like I needed move to shift the discomfort. Now the contractions felt was more like full body waves, not something I could close my eyes and drift through. They required my full focus and energy to stay soft and open, rather than tense and clenched.
I felt quite nauseous, so Luke brought me a bucket. From that point on, I wanted him close for every contraction. He would hold sips of water up to my lips, and hold my hands so I could squeeze as hard as I needed. Having him there felt like an anchor point keeping me calm and grounded, rather than being thrown around through the waves.
Within a couple minutes of lying there I felt the Very soon I started to feel the urge to push. It was something I’d read lots about (the fetal ejection reflex) but I wasn’t expecting I’d feel it, as I hadn’t experienced Braxton Hicks. But now instead of contractions, my body began squeezing downward involuntarily - almost like the internal force when you’re about to throw up, but lower, deeper, and in the opposite direction. It completely took over. I knew baby was very close to arriving so I asked Luke to see if he could have a feel for anything noticeable. Straight away he could feel baby’s head, about one knuckle deep. Between each contraction, he texted Jess to come.
BIRTH POOL
Jess arrived, quietly letting herself in and bringing her things in from the car. I felt instantly
She calmly let us know I could get into the pool whenever I felt ready. When I did, the warm water felt incredible on my lower back and sacrum.
It was instant relief, taking all the weight and pressure off my body.
But I also felt myself soften a little too much. I was sweating a lot, almost drifting. I used the contractions to push, but nothing really happened. Luke hopped into the pool with me, supporting me, but still—no progress.
I moved out onto the floor for a while to try a different position. Still nothing.
That’s when I realised something—I felt like I was holding back. There was a quiet fear sitting underneath it all, a fear of tearing. I said it out loud to Luke.
Naming it shifted something, even if only slightly.
⸻
THE PAUSE
Making Space
I hadn’t peed for hours, and when I tried, nothing would come. So we used a catheter, and it drained about 300ml. After that, pushing felt noticeably easier.
I tried again on the floor, but still nothing was really progressing.
At this point, there was a gentle acknowledgment of time. Jess spoke to us about the option of transferring to hospital if we wanted to—but she was clear she wasn’t concerned. Baby was doing really well on monitoring, no signs of distress, still calm and steady. I was okay too—physically and mentally.
So we chose to keep going.
There was no panic in the room—just space, information, and trust.
⸻
TOILET
The Turning Point
Jess suggested I try the toilet.
I remember telling Luke I felt like I was starting to wig out a little. Not from pain—it still wasn’t overwhelmingly painful—but from the mental fatigue of not seeing progress.
It felt strange, almost impostery—as if something so big should feel harder than this.
On the toilet, something shifted. I felt called to use my hands, to reach down and be part of it.
Luke sat in front of me, holding space in his own way—at one point even blowing his nose—while during a contraction, baby’s head came out almost a third of the way. Then slipped back in.
The midwives came over with apple for energy. They watched the next contraction and gently guided us back toward the pool.
⸻
BACK TO THE WATER
Between Two Worlds
I waddled back to the pool, with baby’s head still right there, so close.
Half in, half out—between worlds.
With each contraction, she would come out a little more… and then slide back in.
Still, it didn’t feel painful—just intense, and very present.
Again, I used my hands. This time I felt her ear. That grounded me. I started to guide her gently myself.
I remember saying to Jess that she felt stuck—that I needed help guiding her out.
⸻
PUSHING
The Arrival
They called it “midwives margaritas”—the moment where everything ramps up.
I shifted onto my back, all hands on my legs, fully supported. There was a different energy now—more directive, more focused. Time was noted.
With the next pushes, her head came out… and then her body followed so easily.
After all that build, she slipped into the world in one smooth, undeniable moment.
Luke caught her and brought her straight onto my chest.
I rubbed her down to stimulate her breath and soothe her. There was a small cry—and then she settled, finding her way to feed almost straight away.
From water to air to skin, all in one breath.
⸻
PLACENTA BIRTH
The Final Release
There were a few big gushes of blood as the placenta began to detach.
The midwives suggested an injection to support the placenta birth and help the clotting process. Everything happened quite quickly after that.
I moved back to the couch, holding her, feeding her, as the placenta and cord were gently managed.
⸻
THE GOLDEN HOUR
Becoming
We lay there, just the three of us, learning each other.
Luke sat beside me on a bucket, close enough to touch, bringing me cups of tea. The midwives quietly moved around us, cleaning, doing laundry, keeping the space held without interrupting it.
They talked us through everything—what the injection did, how my body was, what to expect. No tearing, just some bruising and swelling.
They spoke to us about feeding, nappies, breathing.
Life had shifted, and yet the room felt so calm.
⸻
SHOWER & BED
After
They helped me into the shower. I tried to pee in there but couldn’t, eventually managing on the toilet—it took a while.
I felt a bit shaky getting into bed—whether from the birth, the injection, or everything all at once.
Sam put her first nappy on while she lay on Luke’s chest.
They brought us soup in bed. We ate a bag of chips together.
Still us, just… more.
Through the night, she fed a few times, and we actually slept pretty well.
Somehow, in the middle of everything new, there was still rest.
ON THE COUCH
FER on couch
Luke helped me onto couch, lay down and really strong contractions
Felt nauseous so he brought a bucket
Needed to do them together, Luke would give me water and hold my hands so I could squeeze his
Started feeling urge to push, whole body contracting involuntarily like when you throw up but lower down and opposite direction
Got luke to feel and he felt babys head about one knuckle deep
Texted Jess to come
Birth pool
Jess arrived, said we could get in pool whenever we felt ready.
Felt good on lower back and sacrum
Was sweating heaps, a bit too relaxed
Used contractions to push but nothing
Luke hopped in too
Moved to floor for a bit, still nothing
Felt like I was scared of tearing and holding back so I voiced this to Luke
Catheter
Hadn’t peed for hours and couldn’t pee when I tried
Catheter drained about 300ml
Pushing felt way easier after that
Tried floor for a bit still nothing
Was given acknowledgement of time and acknowledgement of option to go to hospital if it was something we wanted, said she wasn’t concerned and to keep going if we felt comfortable. Also not concerned about mental or physical state of mama - baby was doing well from monitoring no distress still calm and healthy
Toilet
suggested toilet
Told Luke I was wigging out a bit, also felt a bit impostery because it still wasn’t that painful, more just tiring mentally to not “see” any progress
Felt called to use my hands with pushing
Luke sat in front of toilet blowing his nose while her head came out almost a third
slipped back in after pushes, midwives came with apple
Watched next contraction and told us to get in pool
Birth pool
waddled to pool with head hanging out
Tried pushing again, every contraction she’d come out a bit then slide back in
Still not painful
Used my hands again and felt an ear, used my hands to guide out
Told Jess she felt stuck and need help guiding her out
Pushing
Midwives margaritas
Pushing on back
All hands on my legs
Time noted
Head out then body really easily
Luke caught and put on my chest
Rubbed down to stimulate breath and soothe
Little cry then straight to feed
Placenta birth
lots of gushes of blood as placenta detached
Suggested injection for birth of placenta and start clotting process
All very quick
Moved to couch to feed and drain placenta + cord
Golden hour
Lay holding and learning to feed
Luke sitting on bucket next to couch
Brought cups of tea
Midwives began cleaning up and laundry
Debrief of injection
No tearing just bruising/swelling
Told us about breathing and nappies
Shower and bed
helped me to shower and tried to do pee in there, did it on toilet instead (took a while)
Bit shaky getting into bed, because of birth or injection
sam put first nappy on while Ariah on Luke
Brought us soup in bed
Ate bag of chips together
Few feeds through the night, slept pretty well
Reflection (for another blog post)
what if I’d just stayed on the couch
let go of timing and needing to do what’s suggested
Lean in to the fear of tearing etc
How to push (sustained hold of efforts, instead of releasing completely)
Peeing more regularly
How it’s exactly ariahs personality now
Lessons
Caring for a newborn (another blog post)
